Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Finding a Balance Between 'Sorry' & 'Sorry I'm Not Sorry'

A few weeks ago, Jonathan took me on an impromptu date to our favorite sushi place. The place is always packed, especially on Friday nights. Even with the long wait time, we decided to wait it out and enjoy dinner together. After all, we weren't in a rush. While we were enjoying our dinner, an older couple was seated at the table next to us and we couldn't help but notice they were getting impatient waiting on their server to come by. At one point, Jonathan even joked around with them offering to share our lettuce wraps. They laughed and eventually, they grew too impatient and decided to leave the restaurant. As we noticed them getting up from their table, without thinking I said goodnight to the couple, gave them a sympathetic look and said "I'm sorry." I didn't give it a second thought but my dear husband was quick to call me out. "Why are you apologizing to them? It's not your fault their server never came to the table!" I laughed because it does sound ridiculous. I just explained that I felt bad for them and the words just spilled out! 

As women, it's my understanding that many of us share this common habit: we are overly apologetic. We don't do it intentionally and for me at least, we're not even conscious of it until someone points it out. That person for me is Jonathan who is constantly calling me out for apologizing when it's not necessary. I don't say I'm sorry because I think he (or anyone else for that matter) is actually mad at me or upset, but it's just my natural instinct.

Oh, you're having a bad day? I'm sorry.

I got overly emotional. I'm sorry.

I'm calling you in the middle of the day and I know you are busy. I'm sorry.

I couldn't sleep...I'm sorry if I kept you up.

Can you relate to any of these scenarios? I certainly can and I know quite a few ladies who would agree. A good friend of mine who is guilty of being overly apologetic herself posted this Pantene ad to her Facebook account a few months ago and it obviously hit home with me. 

Jonathan has been on my case about this from the moment we met. I apologize for silly things like being moody and he looks me in the eye and tells me to stop apologizing to him...that we are married and he knows me and I don't have to explain myself to him. Sometimes he'll tell me I don't have to apologize and I'll apologize for apologizing! It's madness I tell you! 

The examples in this video of women apologizing in a work environment strike a totally different cord. As women, we can be strong and professional while being respectful without feeling like we need to walk on eggshells around our male counterparts. 

I don't know where I'm going with this but I guess my point is I shouldn't worry about explaining myself all the time. There are certainly times where an apology is absolutely necessary, but I'm pretty sure apologizing for being emotional doesn't fit that criteria. I want to find a balance between being compassionate and being confident in my actions and convictions. People who truly know me won't doubt my intentions and I need to trust in that. Like Dr. Seuss says, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Can you relate to to this at all? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! 

Monday, August 11, 2014

I forgot to blog for a month, but I'm back.

Oh, hey. I'm back after an unplanned break from blogging. It's been over a month since my last post and I miss it. Honestly, I don't know that I'll ever be a big time blogger who shows up here a few times every week and I'm okay with that. I just want to make sure I keep writing. It may not matter to anyone else, but coming here when I have something to say or something to share makes me feel good so I need to make more of an effort to keep it up. Here's what's been going on in my world lately -

Lots of family time and because of this, my heart is oh so happy.

After months and months of hearing about how awesome Stitch Fix is, I finally tried it out for myself. You probably already know about Stitch Fix, but if you haven't heard of it before, you fill out a style profile on their website and pay a $20 styling fee, then select a delivery date. Stitch Fix ships 5 items (clothing and accessories) to you to try on in the comfort of your own home and you choose what you'd like to keep and what you want to send back. The $20 styling fee can be used toward your total purchase and they provide a pre-paid envelope for you to send back the items you don't want.

I've read a lot of Stitch Fix reviews and based on others' experiences, I knew the first fix typically wasn't great...that it takes a few times for your stylist to get to know your style and preferences. Still, I couldn't wait to see what they sent me!

I'll be better at posting more info on the items I receive going forward, but my first fix contained a pair of earrings, a casual tank top, a pair of black dress pants, a navy blouse and a denim jacket. Aside from the denim jacket, I liked everything I received but I sent back everything but the earrings. Both tops were really cute, but I didn't love the fit of the tank top and the blue shirt had flutter sleeves that just weren't flattering. The dress pants were great, but I don't think the fit was right for me and the denim jacket....I just didn't see myself ever wearing it.

I may have only kept one item from my first fix, but I am thrilled with it so far! I can see why my stylist chose each item based on the information I provided even though I didn't end up keeping them. I know by providing feedback and details on my style to Stitch Fix, the items I receive will get better and better. It goes without saying that I went ahead and scheduled another fix for next month and can't wait to see what I get!

If you're interested in giving Stitch Fix a try, click this link to the Stitch Fix website and sign up for an account!

I'm getting back in shape. Seriously this time. I've made some half-assed attempts at getting back to the gym lately, but this month, I'm not messing around anymore. I made it to the gym 5 days last week and it feels really good. It's amazing what a difference it makes in my mood and energy level. I know this shouldn't be news to me..but when you get in a rut you forget how good it makes you feel to be active and in shape. Well, here's to never forgetting again because I feel like a whole new person.

Still cooking and baking up a storm. First of all, if you've never had a cream cheese carrot cake muffin, I suggest you change that as soon as possible. I'm not even a huge carrot cake fan and I had to give just about all of these away before I ate them all.

I also made a pineapple salsa recipe a few weeks ago for a get together at our house and it was a huge hit. I'm saving that for it's own post, though, because it deserves to be in the spotlight. I tried this Parmesan Zucchini and Corn recipe the other night and it was delicious and super easy to make. I also just recently successfully fried an egg for the first time. It was a big deal in our house because usually I leave that up to Jonathan and stick to what I know: scrambled eggs. To celebrate this momentous occasion, for breakfast on Saturday I made this bacon, egg, cheese and avocado sandwich for Jonathan it and it just about blew his mind. My man loves his avocado and I get really excited when I'm making something I know he is really going to like. You could say I'm (1) loving every second of being a wife and (2) really enjoy being in the kitchen these days.

Enjoying this season of our livesMarriage is freaking awesome. I'm simply amazed by it. Sometimes I still have to stop in my tracks and wonder on how earth this kind of love found us. It's hard to believe and it's something I will continue to praise God for and celebrate for ever and ever.

We're busy and happy and healthy and I couldn't ask for much more than that!