Monday, May 5, 2014

What's my Age Again?

I'm not one to stress out about getting older. With my 28th birthday just a week away, I haven't had one moment of panic over being another year older. 28 is still so young! I certainly don't feel old. It's all good! That was until yesterday at my eye appointment. I was wayyy overdue to get my eyes checked seeing it had been at least 2 years and my current pair of glasses just aren't doing the job anymore.

I was excited to pick out new frames and get new lenses so I can stop it with these headaches I get on the regular. But then, the doctor told me what I really need are bifocals. BIFOCALS. You know, what most people don't typically need until they are in their 40s or 50s. Apparently I am both nearsighted and farsighted, which means bifocals are prescribed so you can solve both issues with one lens. Somehow I'm not shocked because I can't make a decision to save my life and apparently neither can my eyes.

Anyway, the doctor broke the news and told me he didn't really want to give me bifocals (I think he felt bad for me), so rather than giving me bifocal lenses, he gave me two prescriptions; one for reading and working on the computer and another for the rest of the time. It's all good and although it's ending up costing a small fortune to get two pairs instead of one, at least I'll be able to see and hopefully my headaches will subside.

However, for the first time, I felt a slight sense of panic over aging. I'm not trying to be dramatic and I know that 28 is still so young in the grand scheme of things, but still. I've never really felt as old as I am. When I was 20, I still felt way younger than that. Then when I turned 27, I still didn't feel like a 27-year-old. But yesterday, when I was told that I need bifocals, I absolutely felt like an adult. Actually, I felt like I skipped 28 and headed straight for the age of 58. It was sad and frightening that my eyes are getting so bad so quickly and I'd be lying if I said I didn't pout over the whole ordeal for a bit after my appointment. Not to mention that it took almost 3 hours for my vision to come back after having my eyes dilated.

The rest of the afternoon went a little something like this: I pouted for a bit, we went to Home Depot to buy plants and I was zero help because I couldn't read anything and the sun was blinding my dilated eyes, we came home and I attempted to make our grocery list which ended up looking like a word search, then by the end of the night I could see things more clearly (literally and figuratively) and I just felt awful for being such a drama queen and being such terrible company to my poor husband. I felt so awful that I cried, which reminded me that I'm still such a baby sometimes. I might be losing my vision, but I still cry a pathetic kind of cry for no valid reason at all on the regular and for that, I'll be forever young. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

On a much more positive note, this week is looking good. See what I did there?

I have a whole bunch of Paleo recipes on the menu this week I can't wait to try. All the rain from last week is a distant memory because the sun is shining and it's supposed to beautiful all week. We're headed to St. Augustine this weekend and I cannot wait. In all seriousness, I'm really excited about turning 28 because there are some amazing things in our future. Life is good and we are so blessed. I hold on to this joy, this thankfulness and this humble spirit even if I let my outlook get a little cloudy every now and then.

I hope you all have a wonderful week!