Sunday, February 26, 2012

Valentine's Day Recap 2 Weeks Later

I'm sure you've all been chomping at the bit to hear about my valentine's day adventure. Sorry for the delay...I have so much to say but haven't quite found the time to sit down and blog about it. To put things simply, I went on the kind of blind date that gives blind dates a bad name. You all know I've been on my fair share of awkward, down right terrible dates, but this one takes the cake. However, the way it came about was fun and adventurous, so I want to tell you the whole story...

Every Valentine's Day, one of the popular Orlando radio morning shows does this thing called "The Mile of Men." They basically have men call in describing themselves by their celebrity look-a-like and get put on the station's website. On Valentine's Day, women call in and claim their date and all the daters meet at The Hard Rock Cafe that night for dinner. Well, this year, they added women to the "Mile." 

Always the active participant in my dating life, my mom calls me one morning on my way to work telling me I should call the radio station and try to get on the Mile of Men. I laughed it off, but quickly changed my mind. I obviously didn't have plans for Valentine's Day and let's be honest, my dating life has been non-existent. I'm also always up for a random adventure and knew even if it didn't go well, I would get a great story out of it. 

So the day before Valentine's Day, I get in the car to drive to work and learn that they are interviewing two more girls. I call five or six times until I finally get through and next thing you know, I am live on the radio! I got on the Mile of Men and some basic information about me goes up on their website. The plan is that on Valentine's Day between 7-9 a.m, people can call in and "claim" their date on a first come, first serve basis. I'm the first girl picked that morning and get introduced to my date on live radio. One word: awkward. 

My profile on their website
Was I nervous to go on a date with a complete stranger that I knew absolutely nothing about? No. I definitely wasn't expecting a love connection, but I figured it would be a fun experience either way. I'd probably have a night of good conversation, free food and have an excuse to dress up and go out. I brought my "A" game, i.e. curled my hair, wore a cute black dress and my favorite black heels. He, on the other hand, brought an array of undesirable qualities, i.e. a combover, a beer belly, white New Balance Sneakers and an overall awkward demeanor. To further explain, as he walked up to me at the restaurant, all I could think was "Oh shit, it's going to be a long night." Thanks Mom!

My face says it all.
Things really only got worse from the initial introduction. There are too many horrific factors here, so I'm gonna break them down for you bullet-point style:
  • He is one of those people who looks old and young at the same time. He could've been 26 or 46 for all I could tell at first.
  • When talking about celebrity look-a-likes, he said his look-a-like would have to be Harry Potter. First of all, Harry Potter would have been an improvement. Second of all, no, you do not look anything like Harry Potter.
  • When I asked what he does for a living, he told me he is a character at Universal Studios. So grown up. What character, you ask? Scooby Doo. Even better, his future goals are to be a stunt man and make it into the next Universal Studios parade. Dream big, my friend, dream big. 
  • One of his first questions for me: "Do you like Star Wars?" If you know me, you know I hate all things Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, etc. I tell him this and hope he sees what I do...that we have absolutely nothing in common. He doesn't come to that realization and the hits keep coming. 
  • We talk about pets. I tell him I hate cats, but that I have a puppy and show him a quick picture before moving on. He responds telling me he has a cat, and proceeds to tell me a 20 minute story about the cat and how fluffy it is...or something. I don't know exactly because I stopped listening after he said he had a cat. 
  • I was really hoping that we were on the same page, that he could see there was no connection, that we had nothing in common. That way, we could walk away without ending the night on an awkward note. When he awkwardly leans in and tells me I am really pretty, I realize we are so NOT on the same page...not even on the same book. 
  • We talk a bit more...about how he loves theme parks and is reading what I can only assume is a children's book about these kids that get trapped at Disney World for the night and all the rides come to life. We talk about what we like to do for fun. I say I like to keep busy and go out a few nights a week. He tells me he likes to go straight home after work and watch television mostly. 
Needless to say, I didn't exactly want to extend the date past dinner. There were a few daters who actually left their dates in the middle of dinner and I would have never done something like that. It was an unfortunate situation, but I enjoyed the whole process and wouldn't have left. That is just rude. So when the hosts stood up and told everyone they were leaving, that we could stay or go somewhere else, I  knew it was time to head out as well. He asked what I was doing after and I quickly responded with "I need to pick up my puppy. A friend is watching him and it is getting late." 

We ended the night with an awkward hug and him asking me if I was on Facebook. Knowing that he wouldn't have a shot at finding me without knowing my last name I said yes and said goodbye and that it was nice meeting him. I proceeded to call my mom and fill her in on the whole situation as she laughed hysterically on the other end.

Did I expect to meet the love of my life? Of course not. But, I at least thought I might end up having a night of great conversation with someone I just wasn't that attracted to. Or maybe I would end up with someone I was attracted to, but we just didn't have much in common. Instead, I ended up with someone I had zero attraction to and nothing in common with, but it's all good, really. Makes for a funny story and was another fun dating adventure nonetheless.

Have you ever been on a blind date? Was it a complete nightmare?