Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Best Man

Warning: This post is so long that you might hate me for making you read so much. Let's just say I never bother using the phrase "In a nutshell."

I have to admit that I’ve been keeping this one from you guys. Not on purpose, I swear. It is more that I haven’t known what to say about it and never would’ve expected to have anything to tell you about. I went from having nothing to really say about this situation, to having lots to tell you and having no clue where to begin, so here goes nothing…

Remember in this post, when I  mentioned that my recent trip to Michigan involved a boy? The Best Man is that boy. I met The Best Man at my cousin, Meg’s wedding in Minnesota last May. We met at the reception and had a great time dancing and chatting all night. I had just started seeing The Umpire and I wasn’t really on the prowl that weekend, so when a bridesmaid came up to me and told me “The Best Man is pretty much in love with you,” I was a little taken by surprise. To my further amazement, apparently he still had strong feelings for me even after I ended the night by telling him I had to puke and running away, all after giving him my phone number so we could keep in touch. I had a good buzz going most of the reception and I guess I didn’t realize how much I had had to drink. True to form, I went from fun-loving girl at the party to hot mess status in the blink of an eye. I was obviously completely embarrassed for ending the fun night that way and didn’t really think much of the whole Best Man situation. Yes, I had fun with him. I thought he was really sweet and nice. He also lives in Minnesota and we hardly knew each other, so yeah I didn’t think too much more about it.

To my surprise, he texted me after my trip, which was soon followed by a Facebook friend request. I figured there was no harm in keeping in touch, so we would chat via text every now and again…nothing ever too in depth. Next thing I know, he is telling me he wants to come to Florida and hang out for a few days…that I made a big impression on him at the wedding and he would really like to see me again. I can’t quite describe my confusion. Aside from the fact that we danced a little and hung out at the wedding, I also ended our fun night by telling him I had to puke. Yet, I somehow made an impression on this person…so much that he wants to travel all this way to see me again. Huh? As I was still dating The Umpire at the time, I obviously told him I didn’t think that was the best idea, not to mention that I didn’t know how I felt about spending a few days with someone I hardly knew. What if we had nothing to say to each other? It was a little too much at the time.

Fast forward to a few months later. I’m single, again. We were still keeping in touch and getting to know each other. Another opportunity comes up for him to take a trip to Florida. I turn him down again. I can’t quite put into words the amount of pressure I felt about someone paying hundreds of dollars to come visit me for a whole weekend. I just didn’t feel comfortable with it. I told him that is probably isn’t a good idea, but that maybe we could start talking on the phone and really making an effort to get to know each other. This way, if the opportunity for a visit came up again, I would feel more comfortable with it. So we started talking on the phone and learning more about each other. I liked what I knew about him so far and enjoyed chatting with him.

In the meantime, Meg’s birthday was coming up. Her and her husband live in Michigan, about 11 hours away from The Best Man. We both got an invitation to her birthday celebration. I obviously had to decline because I couldn’t really afford the trip up there and he had mentioned that he didn’t think he’d be able to go because of work.

THEN ONE DAY….a week before the birthday celebration….

The Best Man tells me that his work schedule changed and he thinks he can now take the trip to Michigan for the weekend and how awesome it would be if I could go too. That we can surprise my cousin, have a really fun weekend and get to hang out again. I obviously thought the idea was awesome, I mean seeing Meg would be absolutely delightful…but once again had to decline because I couldn’t afford it. Next thing I know he is telling me that he would do whatever it takes to get me up there (aka buy my ticket). I wanted to accept this offer so badly because I knew it would be a blast. I haven’t had much of a chance to get to know my cousin’s husband, I’ve never been to Michigan, a weekend away would be fun…there were a lot of positives.

Unfortunately, all I could think about was how much pressure this puts on the situation. My worst fear was that The Best Man would pay for me to get up there, and we wouldn’t hit it off, or I wouldn’t like him, or he wouldn’t like me…and he would be disappointed. After going back and forth all day about this, I voiced my concerns to him and he settled them telling me that worst-case scenario, we have fun weekend where he gets to see his friends and I get to see my cousin. I threw caution to the wind and decided to go for it. You guys already know I can be impulsive and that my mental stability is questionable, at best. I also need to point out to those of you who don't know me in real life, that I don't take someone buying me a plane ticket lightly. I am overwhelmed and could never put into words how appreciative I am. I even tried to put it into words on the phone with him and I think I just rambled on for five minutes and didn't make any sense. I hope he still got the point. Moving on...

Aside from me being completely overwhelmed by the whole scenario, I was SO EXCITED to surprise Meg and I knew the weekend would be a blast. I was right. The weekend was super fun. Did The Best Man and I have a magical weekend and fall madly in love? No. But that isn’t what I had in mind anyway. I truly wanted a fun weekend away where we could get to know each other a little better. In a perfect world, maybe we would have fallen madly in love that weekend and things would fall perfectly into place and we would live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, life isn’t perfect. Don’t get me wrong. I do like The Best Man. What I don’t know is if those feelings are friendship feelings or more-than-friendship feelings. I don’t think I should be expected to know that right now, though. I mean, we’ve basically been on two (somewhat unconventional) dates.  After two dates, do you know that you have strong feelings for someone? Do you know that you want to start a relationship with that person? Probably not…and that is usually when the person lives where you do! Not to mention the fact that even if we did totally hit it off and want to be together, how on earth would we proceed with this situation?? The whole thing is a little overwhelming to me, to be completely honest. In other words, I don’t know how I feel. I do know that I am incapable of expressing how much it means to me to have someone be so up front with me about their feelings, to make bold, romantic gestures like that.

The challenging part about this whole thing is that even though I don’t quite understand why, I think his feelings are pretty strong. I’d like to keep doing what we’ve been doing…keeping in touch and getting to know each other, but I can’t promise that any of that will progress to a relationship or me returning those strong feelings. I told him we need to keep living life…that neither one of us should miss out on other dating or relationship situations because we are holding on to hope that this weird scenario goes somewhere. I guess all I can do is be completely up front about everything I’m thinking so we stay on the same page and no one gets their feelings hurt.

I hope some of that made sense. Like I said, I know I am totally springing this on you…but seriously…how was I to know there would ever be any more to say about him than the fact that we met at a wedding, danced a little bit and then, not surprisingly, I puked?

Moral of the story: Life is so ridiculously weird sometimes. 

Monday, September 26, 2011

First Weekend of Fall

It is officially Fall and I am pretending it is not 90+ degrees in Orlando right now. To get in the spirit, I splurged on some new Fall decorations for my house. I also had a lovely weekend that I just have to brag about to all of you.

I spent Saturday morning shopping for all of this…I’m so happy with what I found!
Jo-Ann Fabric
Jo-Ann Fabric
Jo-Ann Fabric
Window decals: Jo-Ann Fabric

Saturday night, I headed downtown with my former roommates and some of their friends. It was an absolute blast, but here are some of the highlights:
  • When the night starts with listening to “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips, “Like a Virgin” by Madonna and “This is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan, you know it is going to be amazing.
  • I fell on my ass in the middle of a club. As in, I was dancing and was completely unaware of the step behind me. I backed that ass up right to that step, where I landed (surprisingly gracefully) on my behind. Only me…
  • I got suckered into talking to this guy at that same club. He was pretty cute, but after talking to him for five minutes and seeing that he lacked a personality, I was ready to ditch him. Unfortunately, when I am drinking I don’t exactly know how to do that without being rude. After he bought my friends and I a shot, we were ready to move on to the next bar. Instead of just leaving or making something up, I decided to tell him where we were going and hoped he wouldn’t want to join. Unsuccessful. We ended up having to ditch him after ducking into pizza joints and other bars to throw him off our scent. My friend’s boyfriend really got the shit end of that deal, having to tell him one of us was sick and we had to go home. It wasn’t too successful, because hours later at the end of the night, someone spotted him and we ended up having to high tail it out of the bar. The whole thing was hilarious, like something out of a movie.
My sister and I have wanted to plan a baking day for a while now. We both use StumbleUpon and had a ton of recipes saved to our favorites. So we spent the entire afternoon baking at my house on Sunday. After baking all afternoon, we got some Chinese take-out and wattched Bridesmaids. I am so grateful for days like this with my sister. Here are the goodies we ended up with:

Twix Caramel Brownies
Cookies & Cream Cheesecake Cupcakes 
Banana Bread

I hope you all had a happy weekend. I know I promised to fill you in on the boy from my weekend in Michigan last week. I’m still working on that post so stay tuned!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Stress Relief According to Me

For someone with a positive outlook on things most of the time, it may surprise you to know I have my fair share of meltdowns. I get stressed out, I over think things I shouldn’t, I cry a lot and I call my momma for guidance and support several times a week. I’ve learned that one secret to being happy isn’t being stress free, as that is nearly impossible, but finding ways to relieve stress that work best for you.

photo source
It’s interesting to see how differently people handle things like stress. Some people eat, some people drink, some get really mean and others shut down completely. Now, I don’t think I have any groundbreaking stress relief techniques (though some are wonderfully weird or so I’ve heard) but I thought I share them with you today.

Go to Target
I just love Target. I love the clothes. I love the home décor. I love that I can get my groceries there. I just love it. I don’t always have a long list of things I need to buy, but I love just wandering around, seeing what is on clearance, what new clothes they have, etc.
Dance around my bedroom
I’ve told you before I have very little dance ability. That doesn’t stop me. Sometimes, the best way to end a stressful day is to dance the stress away. ‘Breathe’ by Michelle Branch is one of my favorite songs to put on for this situation.
Yep, I’m one of those people. Exercise is a great way to take your mind off of things!

Take a Bubble Bath
Lay on the floor of my bedroom
This is a weird one…I can admit it. You would be shocked that with several seating options in my bedroom, I choose the floor. There is something very relaxing about lying on the floor, in the middle of my bedroom under the fan. What? Don’t knock it until you try it.

Yep, I’m one of those people, too. Cleaning is therapy to me. Throw on some music and a few hours later I feel a little more relaxed AND have a clean little house.
Another obvious one. I obviously love to write and find it very therapeutic.

Any one of my family members can help me when I’m feeling stressed out. Whether I am spending time with one or all of them or call them to talk things out, they ALWAYS make me feel better.

I love to bake anyway, but it really helps me take my mind off a stressful situation. When I feel like things are spiraling out of control, I know I can pick one of my go-to recipes, put the ingredients together and end up with a delicious little treat. Plus, if cookies and cupcakes can't cheer you up, nothing will.

It really depends on the stressful situation, but I can usually count on one of these things to help me feel better or at least take my mind off things for a while. What about you guys? Any unique stress relief strategies?

Monday, September 19, 2011

In Other News...

I feel like lately so many of my posts have been about boys and dating and that is just not okay. It’s true…there are other things going on in my life other than boys, but I guess things change in my dating life so quickly that I have to update you regularly or someone could be old news before I even get to tell you about him. Anyway, these are some of the other things going on…

I’m going through a baking phase and have been obsessed with trying new and exciting recipes lately. My most recent baking success: Snickerdoodle Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting. My sister was coming to visit me for the night and snickerdoodles have always been her favorite cookie.  I’m a pretty big fan myself and found this recipe while I was lost in the world of StumbleUpon one night. Snickerdoodles? Amazing. Cupcakes? Delightful. Both of those together: Absolute heaven.
Cupcake goodness :)
Kickball started again last week. I was a little concerned about how this season would go because a bunch of people from our team left and started a new one, not to mention the fact that I don’t always get along with our captain…coach…whatever you call him. I was worried about nothing because I had a blast as always, despite the fact that we lost both our games last week. This season will be great because:
  • I like our new team members a lot.
  • Kickball and beer are always a good combination.
  • With a team motto like, “Win or lose we booze” how could it not be fun? 
I spent this past weekend in Michigan and it was delightful. I went up there to surprise my cousin for her birthday, which was completely unplanned up until a week beforehand. I really wanted to make it up there to see my cousin and get away, but wasn’t really in a position for that to happen until the last minute. There is actually a whole back-story as to how I ended up going, but that involves a boy and requires a completely separate post. I will fill you in on that later. Anyway, I was there for less than 48 hours, but I had a blast. Why was the trip so awesome?
  • Surprising and getting to spend the weekend with my cousin was wonderful.
  • I hadn’t been to Michigan before so it was awesome to enjoy the cooler weather and get away for a few days.
  • I got to do fall activities like a corn maze and a bonfire, all while wearing my cowboy boots. I am so outdoorsy, I know.
  • I was able to get to know my cousin’s husband a little better (they got married in May). We’ve only met a few times, so I’ve never really gotten to know him much at all until this weekend.
  • The boy I mentioned above. I'll fill you in on that later this week.
my cousin and I :)
I’ve been totally on the ball with my workout routine and I feel really good. I got frustrated with myself a few weeks ago because I kept getting on these workout kicks and would quickly fall off the wagon. I decided that I needed to try something new and start out small. I knew I needed to get back into running if I wanted to keep my workouts interesting, but I knew I would lose interest quickly if I didn’t have a reasonable expectation for myself. So I came up with this philosophy to get me started:

“At least a mile a day keeps the double D’s away.”

This could be all in my head, but I’ve always felt that my boobs stayed a manageable size as long as I was running regularly. At one point I did have double D’s and I NEVER want to be that big again. You might think I am crazy for saying that, but you don’t know until you’ve been there. Double D’s are completely overwhelming and inconvenient. That of course, isn’t my only motivation for running. It’s a great workout and a great way to relieve stress. Have I been running every single day since then? Not necessarily, but I have been to the gym several times a week and refuse to let myself leave until I’ve run AT LEAST one mile. I know that isn’t super impressive and I will start to add to it, but for now it is a good way to keep me committed. Between the running and the leg and arm workouts I’ve been doing at the gym, I feel good about where I’m at right now.

I've also been brainstorming new titles for the little blog of mine and I think I've finally come up with one. My first blogoversary is coming up in October, so I'm thinking that'll be a good time to debut it! I feel like the blog has evolved a bit since I started it so even though I'm pretty attached to what I have, I think it's a good time for a change. Can't wait to share it with you!

Well that’s it for now. Now you know I do have other things going outside of my dating life and I love the simple things like kickball and cupcakes that make me happy.