Sunday, December 19, 2010

Finding Harmony

Being on eHarmony has been relatively unsuccessful for me. Have I met people? Yes. Have I started a relationship with any of those people? Yes. Have I enjoyed the process? Sure. But the most important question is, am I in a relationship now with any of those people? Nope.

After recently realizing that I have been on eHarmony for a year now, off and on, I decided that when my membership expires in February, I will close my account for good no matter what happens in the next few months. It’s not that I am bitter about my lack of success, just that I think it has served it’s purpose in other ways and that maybe some people aren’t meant to meet the love of their life this way.

To be honest, I have actually really enjoyed the experience. Sure, it brought a little bit of heartache and some awkward, nightmarish dates, but I wouldn’t regret any of it, not even for a minute.

By joining eHarmony, I was able to see that there are great guys out there, I got back into the dating world and learned a lot in the process. I’d say one of the biggest things eHarmony did for me was help me become more aware of not only what I have to offer, but also what I am looking for in a relationship, in a person.

I now know what I can and will compromise on and what I simply won’t settle for. I won’t settle for having to convince myself that someone feels how I feel about him. I won’t settle for someone who doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings. I’ve learned to trust my instincts. You can’t create a spark, no matter how much you want it to be there with someone. I’m more aware of what I have to offer someone. Please don’t mistake this for arrogance, but I know I am a great person, I know I am beautiful inside and out (even if sometimes I don’t feel that way), I know that I have lots of love to give and that I deserve that in return. It’s taken me quite some time to find this self-confidence and awareness, but I honestly don’t think I would find the right person without it.

So maybe I haven’t found the love of my life on the World Wide Web. I’m single with no real prospects right now. I don’t know what’s next in my dating life and I’m okay with that. I do know that when the time is right, I will meet someone special and I will be ready to love him.